mercredi 1 janvier 2014

3 Inspiring Plans You Might Try To Get Your Ex Back

By Karli Ralston


In a moment of inspiration, have you thought of a great idea for getting back together with your ex? You have thought long and hard and you know exactly what you need to do to win your ex back. It all makes sense to you. You have the perfect plan and you can see it all unfolding before you. Before you follow through with this plan, understand that most of us come to the same conclusion and think of the same solutions for how to get back together with our ex after a breakup. Chances are that you're not as clever and unique as you might think.

If any of these plans sound familiar then you are perfectly normal. This doesn't mean that any of these methods will help you to find success in getting back together with the one you love but there is hope. We all have to go through stages after a breakup. The stage that you are in presently was visited by many. We all come out the other side of this process better, stronger and, if we are wise, we are able to get back together with the one we love. We all get that opportunity. It's simply a matter of when and what you wish to do with that opportunity.

The most popular plan that most of us come up with in our mind after a breakup is the thought that we should talk to our ex. If we could only sit down and talk through all the problems in the relationship then everything would be find. If there is a problem then there is a solution, right? Talking through your problems is also what therapy is all about and this is what the professional suggest so this must be the way to reuniting with your ex.

The only problem with this plan is that your ex has no desire to talk things through. The problems in the relationship were solved when your ex left you. As far as your ex is concerned there is nothing to discuss or talk about anymore. This might make you a little sad but it points out one very important point. Your ex needs to want to be in the relationship again before anything is going to happen. Making your ex fall in love with you and desire you needs to be your first step in getting back together with your ex.

Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.

The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.

Certainly, if you were the perfect partner and you were to be thoughtful and kind to your ex then they would see that you really loved them. The idea of buying your ex gifts or writing thoughtful emails, letters, cards or poetry is another great idea. You might even think that by performing some wonderfully romantic gesture such as sending your ex flowers or publicly displaying your love for your ex will get their attention. You might believe that your ex does still love you and they simply need to have their heart strings plucked in order to be reminded. This scenario is often played out in romantic movies so this surely must be the way back into your ex's heart.

This tactic is often even more desperate than many of the others. The only thing that you will probably accomplish is to push your ex further away from you. Your ex will lose more respect for you and if you push the issue, there's a good chance that your ex could file a restraining order against you. Giving your attention and affections to someone that isn't worthy of receiving your love right now is unhealthy. Once your ex is attracted to you again then you can show your love and devotion again. Until that time, being overly nice to your ex after they broke your heart is a sign of weakness.

If you have noticed, there is an underlying theme necessary for your success in getting back together with your ex. Your ex is only going to get back together with you once they feel a desire to do so. Once your ex feels love for you again, getting them back will be simple. It won't require any grand gestures on your part and you won't have to say a single word. Yes, there is still love in your ex's heart for you but pushing the issue or trying to convince your ex that their decision was wrong isn't going to nurture that love.

Given some time, space and understanding, your ex will realize that they do still love you. Don't worry. Relationships and matters of the heart are strange. Your ex very well might appear to feel nothing for you one day and then be overwhelmed with passion for you the next day. Trust that this day will come. Understand your ex's point of view and love them from afar for the moment. Your day is coming. You can and will get your ex back if you are patient and understand what your ex is going through at the moment.




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